WORKING WITH SEXUALITY WASN’T ON MY “WHEN I GROW UP I WANNA BE” LIST…

How did I get here? ⁠

Well, I grew up destined to have the most normal life one could imagine: I grew up in Lithuania and then emigrated to Northern Ireland with my parents at the age of 16. I was an A student and graduated with a MA in Politics and French from a top university in the UK. I speak five languages. Being a perfectly nice girl, I was equipped to climb up my professional ladder and create a socially approved life. Sounds boringly perfect, right?⁠

I remember, when there was a time I was thinking that maybe it was time to get a mortgage, a husband and start planning the colour of my bathroom tiles? At least this is what all of my friends were doing. ⁠

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the path of getting a mortgage and making babies (I also desire to make babies and buy property when the time comes). But firstly, I had to give birth to my own divine self! ⁠

In essence, I was living with a deep abyss inside of my chest, and nothing could fill it. And believe me, I tried everything. My insatiable longing for depth, truth and authentic connection caused some of my most profound heartaches and sleepless nights.⁠

My relentlessness to find That Something was a catalyst to develop insomnia. Now I know that the problem was me seeking Love and Bliss outside of myself.⁠

The fact that I could not sleep made my life go down the spiral. I used to use quick-fix clitoral self-pleasure like a sleeping pill. It was my stress release method which, afterwards, made me feel even more lonely and disconnected from myself. That was the price I was willing to pay for a momentary bliss.⁠

Long story short, I was ready to let go of the life I had built and find That Something which would make my life actually meaningful. So, to continue this chase, I moved to Bali.⁠

One evening, I was sitting by the rice fields and watching the most magnificent coastal sunset, and I realized that I was feeling as miserable as before! Bali did not solve my problems. I just brought my entire emotional baggage with me.⁠

But here comes the turning point in my life: I knew that my self-pleasure addiction was part of the problem, so I decided to let go of it altogether. Very soon, I noticed a lot of stagnant unpleasant energy pent up in my lower belly.⁠

It was the first time I felt the intensity of my sexual or life force energy. Luckily, I had some fantastic conscious people around me who taught me how to circulate this energy using breathwork. ⁠

I committed myself to cultivate my life force energy consciously and see what will happen. I began claiming my space in the world by intentionally awakening my sexuality. ⁠

This is when I truly discovered the power of sacred sexuality—like Columbus “discovering” the South American lands which had always been there… ⁠

After years of searching for love externally, I came back home to the temple of my body.⁠

Now I see that insomnia did not let me settle for a mediocre life that does not fulfil my soul. I had to solve that and find my way into the divine in me. ⁠
Ironically, my insomnia was the key catalyst to my sexual awakening.⁠

The rest is history. With all of my humbleness, I confidently say that it’s my life’s calling to support you to blossom into your most vibrant, awakened, and integrated life. I do so through 1on1 and group coaching—enabling women to transform and embody their divine wholeness is the most rewarding food for my soul. ⁠

Picture taken by Erïck